Magazines and sex blogs put a lot of focus on the man honing his sexual techniques to a fine art – and we’re big fans of a skilled male lover, but the game has to go both ways! Just because guys tend to be less complex to satisfy doesn’t mean you shouldn’t aim to blow his mind on a regular basis.

Because male orgasm is fairly easy to achieve, some guys go through life thinking they know what sex is, what orgasms feel like… and then they meet THAT woman… the one that takes everything to a new level.

Maybe the missing ingredient was romantic love, maybe it was tickling that one spot at the right time, maybe it was whispering the right kind of sex talk in their ear, or dressing up and role playing. Whatever it is that suddenly blew the roof off his perfectly normal and fine sex life, he’ll never look at sex in the same way again.




ONE – It’s a whole new ball game

Each man has a different set of rules for his balls, and often this sensitive zone is all but abandoned due to the focus on the ‘main event’. Make sure you know how he likes them to be touched. Some packages are so sensitive that the lightest stroke is all he can bear, others want their balls in your mouth, being sucked in an out – and of course there are countless shades of grey in between. Experiment with your technique until you have your repertoire down to a fine art.

Try feathers, tongue, hot breath, warm cloths, the shower head, oil based Bonk lube… make his balls your warm up or combine a duo focus action. Adding some strategic testicle action into the mix adds a whole new layer to the experience.

TWO – Go South young man

While you’re down there… explore the region behind the testicles – yep, now further back.

This erogenous zone is one that a lot of straight men are apprehensive about admitting to, but we’re all built to the same basic model and we’re all sensitive here. If your guy isn’t au fait with touches yet, work up to it slowly, and see how far things can evolve. It may help to time your move for when he’s too deep in the moment to register where that new amazing sensation is coming from; and why that orgasm is going to blast his mind!

THREE – Map your lover

Men’s bodies are beautiful and it’s your job to find every nuanced sensory zone and become a fan. Ask him what he likes. Get him to show you how he likes it. Help him find new things he loves. Too often guys and their lovers are over-focused on the main event and focus all their attention on just his package.

Maybe his nipples are a sexual wasteland, but maybe they are hot switches for hyper-sensuality. How about the small of his back, the crook of his elbow, the back of his neck? Does he love your fingernails running down his back, or your hands twisted in his hair? How hard? Should you bite him softly, or lick his chest lasciviously? Is tickling annoying or sexy?

Add these hot spots to your list and let the tension build by spending time with them before moving below the waist. Extra sexual tension is a great thing when you know release is going to come!

FOUR – Surprise him

It may be as simple as an ice cube traced along his ribs, or as dramatic as adding an extra person to your bed. Premeditated sex games are a brilliant surprise especially in long term relationships where predictability can blunt the passion.

Think of ways to add some unexpected spice; and sprinkle them on your relationship. An exploratory foot under the restaurant table, or sending the kids for a sleepover so you can order uber eats and have loud sex, initiating sex unexpectedly in different places like outdoors, hotel bathrooms, the kitchen table, bring out the dress ups and role play a fantasy of his, share showers, add new sex toys, try blindfolds and scarves…

FIVE – Make it all about him 

Now and then, forget the rules. Mutual orgasm every time, and long foreplay are rules made to be broken often.

  • Focus just on him, and do all the things he likes while he lies back and feels like a king. Get on top and show him how it’s done. Blow his mind and remind him how incredible you are, even when he’s just a spectator (with benefits).
  • Enjoy the masculinity and virility of a ‘wham bam thank you ma’am’ quickie (prep with Bonk Lube for comfort!) Expectation free sex is great fun!
  • Get him super wound up then deliver the blow job of his dreams.

You can finish with a Rose Quartz Love Wand, and he’s going to love watching that too!

SIX – a little sex lube goes a long way

Slip a drop of water based sex lube on before he applies the condom… be sure to work it allllll over his penis as long as you need to… the extra slipperiness inside the condom will deliver that extra sensual, more natural sliding feeling. 


Enjoy your sex life and your sex partner – let each other know how much you enjoy each other’s bodies, and the intimacy of being together physically. Make time to drowse together or share dreams afterwards. Keep the appreciation of your partnership alive with words and with actions.