We love great sex. We’ve gathered tips on how men can help women enjoy sex even more, because knowledge is power, and orgasms are awesome. If you’re a woman, you might also want to read our hot sex tips for women here.
Time unlocks all the best doors
Create a space in her day where she can focus on herself. Or go crazy and book a weekend away from children, work, odd-jobs and friends so the only thing on her to do list is YOU.
Benefit 1 is that she will not be distracted, stressed or exhausted. Benefit 2 is she will be feeling cared for, and that is truly sexy. Both these factors will mean she is going to enjoy herself more, and have better sex.
Make sure she knows you ‘see’ her
Feeling a personal connection – love, trust, affection, kindness – adds a whole extra layer to the physical sensation of sex and takes your love making to a new level. Be kind and affectionate in daily life so that she feels loved and appreciated, and your woman will be ready to open up to you, in all sorts of ways. Make sure you touch each other and kiss during a normal day so you have a level of physical intimacy at any given time.
Take time during the lead up to lovemaking or during foreplay to tell her something you appreciate about her and something you admire. Express your feelings and watch her get super horny. Yes, for most women love is a total turn on – secret’s out!
Recognise her physically too, with long firm sensuous strokes all over her body to bring her into the present, relaxed and breathing – and to let her know you’re appreciative of all her endowments.
Go all explorer on her, and make a map of her body
Every woman is unique – one woman may melt when you kiss the backs of her thighs, another may quiver when you ghost warm breath across her neck, another may want her toes sucked, and another might buck and twist with joy when you stroke her ankles.
Ask her about her sexual fantasies and her favourite ways and places to be touched. It’s up to you buck-o; go discover your lovely lady’s list of erogenous zones – and commit them to memory.
Refine your techniques to give her more orgasms
When she is already entering arousal, touch the outsides of her vulva, and the clitorus softly and rhythmically. Don’t slip inside until you get a lifted hip invitation! Most women can orgasm with just clitoral stimulation but fewer can orgasm with only internal touch or penetration.
So, work your way around over and across that clitorus with your fingers (with a light touch of lube so they slide nicely), your tongue… or any toy or body part she likes you to use! Don’t forget to stroke the lips and the inside of the lips and her inner thigh to draw the whole area into her sensual experience.
Make it work for both of you
Women enjoy knowing you are enjoying sex, so rather than a race to the finish line (for either of you!), think about a sex as a team event where you both encourage each other along!
Show her what you enjoy, and ask her to show you. Encourage her to touch herself if you can’t reach in a particular position, and ask her to touch you places and ways you enjoy. Tell her how much you enjoy it and check in with her body language and words to see that she is excited about what is happening too.
Getting down to business
Actual intercourse may (or may not) be the main event. It’s a good idea to start slow as the slower you go the more sensation she will feel. Let her appreciate aaaalllll of you before upping the rhythm. Set a speed that has her gasping and see if you can hold it until she can’t any longer!
Experiment with different positions (communication is especially key when trying new ones) and find the way that she gets the most out of sex. And then remember that this will likely change every time! So mix it up in any given lovemaking session with a few different sexual positions. Pause to kiss, or pull out and use your hand to tease her in a different way until neither of you can wait for more.
Don’t reject her advances outright
Generally no one likes trying to initiate sex and being turned down. At different times your sex drives might not be on the same level, but with a little encouragement you may be ready to join the party. If you really can’t bring yourself to make love, explain why, and offer a cuddle or massage.
Women are different – and not just in the gorgeous, curvy, obvious ways!
From the time they are girls, women are bombarded with thousands of images a day that show them how unattainable beauty and desirability are, and how far they are from perfect. They are also taught to be secretive and private about anything to do with their sexuality, and shamed and judged if they are open about enjoying sex. Telling girls to hide their body and its natural functions, and blaming them if men find them attractive, delivers some pretty clear messages about shame.
This is so different from how boys and men view their bodies (and their willies!). When a little boy has a wee in the garden everyone laughs and cheers him on. A teenage boy may know he’s not the handsomest kid in class, but he’s much more unlikely to relate that directly to his self worth.
Stick with us, because we’re sharing a key insight to women enjoying sex, especially sex with you.
So imagine. If women combine a deeply held belief that they are undesirable, with a shame about having a vagina, we’re dealing with a pretty powerful barrier to women embracing sexual abandonment and blissfully enjoying orgasms. Then add to that the fact that even if a woman feels incredible about herself and her sexuality, the female orgasm is a particularly amorphous thing…. and you see why we need to share sexpert advice!
So confidence, trust, affection and partnership that support a woman in feeling just perfect the way she is, and totally empowered about her body and sexuality are the greatest sex techniques of all.
Want more sex tips for women? Maxim has been doing their research
18 sexy moves women love
This article featured in Maxim Magazine is a hot n steamy list of the top 18 things women love during sex. Full credit to the writer, Danielle Bacher, it’s a pretty comprehensive list… some of our top picks were:
Foreplay. Lots of Foreplay. We put as much emphasis on the appetizer as we do on the entrée. Let us luxuriate in physical attention all over our bodies, and we’ll lavish that attention back (that’s right, you gotta give it away to get it). So get exploring.
Worship of the Clit. Yes, please. A very large number of women do not get vaginal orgasms, no matter how rocking their men are, nor how hard they work. So a man who enthusiastically and expertly manipulates the clitoris will achieve the best of results. And for the men out there who can’t find it: Google Maps.
Sex moves women want
And this fab article by Zeynep Yinesey has advice from real women on what they find a total turn on, including:
“Sex is way, way sexier when it’s intimate, and kissing and eye contact during sex is so hot. It makes everything feel so much more passionate, and that is a massive turn-on. Make out with me while you’re inside me, and kiss my neck and shoulders and everything else.” – Kat
“Use your fingers and rub my clit while we’re having sex. Like most women, I can’t orgasm from penetration alone, so get your fingers busy. Reach around and get me off with your hand when you’re fucking me from behind.” – Olivia