As you may have noticed, we are big fans of great sex. We’ve gathered tips on how women can enjoy sex more, and shared them here (you’re welcome!). If you’re a bloke, or a woman who makes love with a bloke, you might want to see our tips for ways guys can help women enjoy sex more here. But we digress… read on!
Sex tips for women #1: Know thyself
Make time to enjoy your own body and find out what makes you melt into sensations of lust! Fantasise, touch yourself, play with toys, stroke your body all over, take hot baths, get to know your own sensuality.
How can you expect a lover to get it right, if you can’t? Also, self-pleasure leads to a well trained libido which is ready to do your bidding. A body used to enjoying orgasms will peak more easily than one which has been neglected. Give yourself some love – and then if a partner enters the equation, you’ll be in peak sexual condition and fully aware of what makes your wheels spin!
Sex tips for women #2: Variety is the spice of life
Hopefully you know which sex positions you enjoy most and how you reach orgasm most easily. If not, do some ‘research’ and find out! Whatever you do though, don’t cross the rest off your list – use them for foreplay and to mix things up. Moving positions helps guys last longer, it’s sexy, and you can move to your tried and true for the finale!
Who knows you may find what you thought was your favourite is not the best after all!
Sex tips for women #3: Rock the boat
The vast majority of women don’t orgasm without showing the clitoris some love. Normally, missionary position sex doesn’t get that lovely little clit in on the action, but if you just tilt your pelvis up, a guy’s thrusting will hit your clitoris, but you’ll also increase the blood flow and tension in the clit to increase the sensations.
You can also slip your hand down, or his hand around if he is behind, to give the clitoris some manual loving. Pausing for a little tongue action can drive you both over the edge too! Highly recommend.
Sex tips for women #4: Prep the scene
Make sure the phone is off the hook, the door is locked and the kids are busy or asleep. Make time and space for yourselves to enjoy each other. Put on some great music. Maybe have a shower together, or share a glass of wine to shift your focus to each other.
A sensual massage is a great way to get you both focused on each others bodies and feeling relaxed and sexy. Drive out the day’s thoughts and centre yourself physically. Get rid of tension, feel loved, and start things rolling.
Sex tips for women #5: Play Simon Says
Take turns being in control for a love making session. Tell your partner exactly what to do, and lead them into temptation! They’ll be happy to play along knowing that next time, they get to ask whatever they want. Do this often enough that your partner learns a range of things you like, and also keeps apace with your changing desires.
Sex should always be a safe space – whatever you choose to do there – and either partner can veto anything that is too confronting!
Sex tips for women #6: There’s a fraction too much friction
To generalise widely, guys like more friction and faster movement and women need more sensation. For example a guy might love to get on in there and thrust until he comes, without pause. Women might need their clitoris to be feeling amazing, and a deep full sensation inside, along with the sliding sensation of the thrusting.
This isn’t to say women won’t love a wham bam thank you ma’am session because we do… just not every time!
Tricks to deepen and intensify sensation for women include:
- put your ankles on his shoulders while he kneels facing you – that’s deep!
- spread your legs wide to let him get as deep as possible then ask him to only withdraw halfway each time and move a little slower so that the feeling of being completely filled up is intensified
- mix up your doggie style with both standing, spooning, or him lying on top to experiment with deep penetration
- wrap your legs around his hips tightly so you can exert control over his movement and he can get super deep
- get that clitoris involved, it’s like the amp on an electric guitar, and amplifies all sexy feelings
- teasing can be so much fun – ask your guy to just slide in part way and slowly in and out – until you can’t wait any more!
Sex Tips for women #7: Use Lubricant
Making personal lubricant part of your foreplay means that you’ll get more pleasure, sooner – and the pressure we feel to ‘be wet and instantly turned on’ is taken out of the equation – making it much easier to be wet and instantly turned on!
Natural lubrication varies wildly with hormones, mood, hydration, breastfeeding, a gazillion things can tweak tyour inner dynamic to make your natural slip n slide levels change. Don’t let your body hold you hostage! Anyway, lubrication can make foreplay feel incredible, so why wouldn’t you! Slip some on him too and give him a silky sensation that will drive him wild!
Sex tips for women #7: Raise the pressure
Use those Kegels girl! Practise any time you want, boring boardroom meetings, supermarket shopping, rush hour… The key is to practice controlling the squeeze in stages, from deep inside to the outside, and back in, in as many stages as you can. And hold! Most people just do a quick series of general squeezes, but the ninjas of kegels can find 4-5 different stages and hold for much longer on each.
This is a mind-blowing tool during sex, your partner won’t know what hit him, but you’ll get way higher sensation during sex, and fabulous satisfaction when your orgasm arrives!
Sex tips for women # Touch isn’t just for sex and love making
A quick kiss hello and goodbye is nice, but if that’s the only time you touch outside making love, you’re both missing out.
Make a point of touching each other, holding hands, stroking a shoulder as you pass, pausing for a hug and nestling into his neck for that manly scent. Humans are hard-wired to need touch and touching your partner leads to wellbeing and intimacy that doesn’t rely on sex. Plus, you’ll feel appreciated and cared for, and it’s much easier to move to lovemaking from a place of intimacy.
The final word:
Be good to yourself. If you’re feeling good about life and love, great sex will come naturally.
The Bonk crew.