You’ve seen it in the movies “Sorry, this has NEVER happened before!” The odds are you’ve experienced it, and had a partner experience it. The distinct lack of sexual frisson, drive, or climax. There are a long list of reasons why this can happen – but never fear, we’ve collected proven ways to combat the dreaded lack of sparkle.
Top list of ways to bring back your sex drive
1. Get some sleep
It’s true for both men and women. Libido drops with exhaustion and ‘bodily fluids’ are reluctant to come out and play. (Hey, Bonk Lube can help there, but we still suggest you get a nap in before resuming sex play!)
Spend some time thinking about your favourite sex acts and the build up to them. Linger on the detail. Imagine whatever turns you on the most, and maybe ask your partner if they will make a date to turn your dreams into reality. Let the anticipation build…
3. Take your medicine? Or not!
Dr. Michael O’Leary, a urologist at Harvard-affiliated Brigham and Women’s Hospital, believes that sex-supplements are pretty much a waste of money, as most haven’t been studied scientifically.
“A 2015 review of top-selling supplements for men’s sexual health, published in The Journal of Sexual Medicine, found little or no evidence to support claims they could improve aspects of sexual performance.”
However O’Leary notes that “when researchers did clinical trials for the Viagra, the placebo response was about 30%. Which tells you that the most important sex organ you have is your brain”.
A man’s brain controls the stimulus to send blood flow to the penis, as well as orgasm and ejaculation. So ‘thinking sexy’ may be the biggest sexual boost there is. Think horny throughts, and see #2!
It can’t hurt though, to take a B multi vitamin to combat stress and boost energy.
4. Get healthy
Research has shown that weight loss alone improves sexual function for men. “It’s probably because fat makes estrogen, which fights testosterone needed for sexual function,” Dr. O’Leary says.
It’s also possible that men feel better about themselves when they like the weight they are, and self-belief is sexy!
Both women and men find their sex drive improves with exercising and quitting smoking (both improve blood flow to the sexual organs); limiting alcohol which can dampen both sexual reflexes and erections; and a healthy diet.
5. Talk about it
Your biggest ally is your sex-partner.
You might ask your partner to:
- play out a fantasy, or
- avoid a certain move that kills the mood for you
- do something that really turns you on that they normally don’t
- masturbate to completion to take the pressure off you
- use toys for you, on you, or in you
- share their fantasies so you can be the sexual partner of their dreams.
It happens to us all. Often it’s as simple as you’re distracted and over tired, stressed and depleted. Take some time to care for yourself, with a long hot shower, a massage, dinner somewhere lovely. Take a walk. Go on holiday and change the scene.
Most of all, don’t over think it. Life happens, and there are plenty of ways to love your lover even if right now you aren’t in the flush of passion.
Thanks to Mike Enerio for our banner image!